Susan Campbell
- Civil Celebrant -
LET ME HELP YOU FIND THE RIGHT WAY TO CELEBRATE LOVE, LIFE OR LOSS
Wedding or elopement?
You can have either, or both (an elopement first, then a renewal of vows with friends and family), or something else entirely - whatever you decide is right for you.
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Weddings have changed markedly over the years, particularly in Australia as couples have moved away from formal religious ceremonies held in places of worship, towards secular ceremonies in a myriad of locations.
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You can choose formal or casual, large or small, indoor or outdoor at just about any place or time you prefer, depending of course on your budget!
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Elopements and micro weddings have become popular particularly since Covid, with couples not wanting to continually delay their wedding plans due to travel restrictions. A guest list of close friends or family who won't be affected by travel restrictions has been the preferred option for some, with a bigger celebration to follow with extended friends and family once restrictions ease.
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Elopements are popular also with couples who have been married previously, with couples who prefer an intimate atmosphere, and with couples who simply don't want the expense or expanse of a big, fancy wedding.
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And of course you don't have to travel all the way to Gretna Green to elope, you can choose your own destination.
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Can we have a surprise wedding?
Yes, but ....
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The wedding can't be a surprise for either of the marrying couple. Before a couple can be legally married in Australia, both of them need to complete and sign the Notice of Intention to Marry form and give it to an authorised marriage celebrant at least one month before the proposed date of the wedding.
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Your marriage celebrant will need to satisfy themselves that both parties are entering into the marriage of their own free will with a full understanding of what it means to be married, and also satisfy themselves of the identity of the persons wishing to be married, and that they are not currently married to anyone else.
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The wedding can be a surprise for your guests, however. Couples have planned in secret to marry at gatherings such as birthday parties or engagement parties, having enlisted the services of a marriage celebrant and met all the necessary legal requirements beforehand. The couple then has a quick change of clothes (or not), and the ceremony begins.
Where can we get married?
A wedding ceremony can be held just about anywhere, provided you have the necessary permission and a celebrant willing to accommodate your wishes.
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Couples have married on boats; in hotels, pubs or breweries; in historical buildings; at iconic outdoor locations such as Kings Park, the Pinnacles or state forests; on family farms or in private gardens; on beaches or mountains; in caves, hot air balloons or underwater; in hospitals or retirement homes; or in one of the many wedding or function venues scattered around the state.
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Permission is needed for weddings in national parks, and for public areas such as parks and gardens. Your celebrant can help you determine what permission you need, depending on your chosen location.
Can we have a themed wedding?
Absolutely!
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Medieval, Gothic, Disney Princess, Shrek, Alice in Wonderland, Winter Wonderland - whatever you decide.
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Talk to your celebrant about whether they can accommodate your wishes - particularly if you want your celebrant to dress in keeping with the theme, or to incorporate particular rituals (handfasting or blood devotions for a Gothic wedding, for example, although I am pleased to say that a blood devotion uses red wine rather than actual blood!)
Do I have to promise to love, honour and obey?
No, but you can if you want to!
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There are some words or phrases that must be said during a marriage ceremony in Australia for it to be a legal ceremony, but your celebrant will make sure these are included.
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Other than that, your vows are entirely up to you. Most celebrants will encourage you to write your own vows and can help you to do so, however they can also provide pre-written vows for you to choose from if you would rather not write your own. You might also prefer to have the celebrant read your chosen vows, to which you respond when prompted (for example, "... do you promise to put your dirty clothes in the wash basket rather than on the floor, and to cook dinner at least three times a week?")
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And, no, what ever vows you opt for, you won't have to memorise them! You can provide them in advance to your authorised marriage celebrant who can prepare them in printed copy for you to read at the ceremony, or you can bring your own hand-written or printed vows. Some couples bring them in electronic format (including on their mobile phone, switched to silent mode of course!) which requires either your wedding outfits to have pockets, or your bestie-of-honour to carry your device and hand it to you at the appropriate moment.